Thank you for this evening!

 You helped me a lot. Don't worry my hopes are still on the ground, but i feel so much better. I came and wrote an apology message to everyone i could, including V. After a while my mom came into my room. She asked how it went, i said fine mom, "he is still really mad, and he didn't forgive me but he said he'll be here for me when he can". we talked about a lot of things...i cried a little and got so many things out of my system. she asked why i thought i became this way. I said it just happened little by little, in part my dad, in part you, my mean brothers, school, so many little incidents, but that doesn't justify it. i have the power to turn back and i will. we washed dishes together, then studied a chapter in real estate...we went our rooms at 12:20. I said "momma give me my hug" she walked back, we hugged, and i gave her a kiss on the cheek. i am planning on working tomorrow. I am going in at 9am. wish me luck. I love you so much Mattie. Goodnight!